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Loose Lips Sink Ships

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The current controversy over journalists who are more concerned with having access to the people they interview (rather than proactively holding such people accountable for their words and deeds) has a strange precedent in advertising. Created by Louis V. Gerstner, Jr. (the chairman and CEO of American Express's Travel Related Services division), the marketing tagline "Membership Has Its Privileges" became a branding success as well as a part of popular culture.

Whether with the blessing of an editor, a publicist, or through one's own personal connections, access is crucial for any journalist who attempts to nab an interview with a celebrity. Tact, however, can be equally important. If an overprotective publicist, spouse, or personal assistant is riding shotgun on the interview, the process can come to a sudden halt at a moment's notice.

During his popular quiz show in the early days of television (You Bet Your Life), Groucho Marx would welcome his contestants with the following statement: "Say the magic word, the duck comes down and you win a hundred dollars!" For aspiring interviewers, a more appropriate piece of advice might be "Feel free to say absolutely anything -- just be careful what you say."

Two recent Bay area productions focused on tense personal interactions which could easily be sabotaged by one person leaking another's secret or overstepping the bounds of perceived privacy. Both plays are fraught with tension about respecting a person's emotional boundaries. While one is a farce, the other, most decidedly, is not.

* * * * * * * * * *


New Conservatory Theatre Center recently debuted a winning production of Buyer & Cellar, the wonderfully dishy play about a gay man's stint working in the faux shopping mall created beneath Barbra Streisand's estate in Malibu. Using a stark but elegant set designed by Devin Kasper, the show was in the more-than-capable hands of J. Conrad Frank, whose alter ego is the renowned operatic drag diva, Katya Smirnoff Skyy.


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J. Conrad Frank stars as Alex More in Buyer & Cellar
(Photo by: Lois Tema)



Jonathan Tolins was inspired to write Buyer & Cellar by the 2010 publication of Barbra Streisand's coffee table book entitled My Passion For Design (for which the legendary entertainer also acted as photographer). His challenge was to find a structure which would allow audiences (who frequently refer to Streisand with such pet names as "Babs" or "Miss Marmelstein") to get a true sense of what becomes a legend most. What he created is an opportunity for a master storyteller to share 100 minutes of fabulously dishy material with an audience.

Buyer & Cellar begins with an attractive gay man coming onstage with a copy of Streisand's book in his hands. As he introduces himself to the audience, Alex More (an aspiring actor who would like to believe that he might be an extremely distant relative of England's Sir Thomas More) takes great care to remind the audience that the only thing they will see onstage that is real is his copy of Streisand's book. As he forcefully explains:

  • All of the dialogue the audience will hear is imaginary and scripted.

  • With so many male and female entertainers performing imitations of Streisand, he will not "do" her by trying to imitate her legendary voice.

  • While the audience may assume anything they wish (many fans boast an encyclopedic knowledge of all things Streisand), this disclaimer is absolutely necessary because a certain someone has developed a reputation as one of the most litigious entertainers in history.



2016-04-27-1461800214-9392619-buyer2.jpg

J. Conrad Frank stars as Alex More in Buyer && Cellar
(Photo by: Lois Tema)



With that particular piece of business out of the way, Alex starts to describe his misadventures in Disneyland (or "Mauschwitz") and how he got fired following a nasty confrontation with a little brat in Mickey's Toontown. After touching on his relationship problems with his boyfriend, Barry, Alex seduces the audience with the tale of how he ended up working where "the woman of the house" had built a miniature shopping mall to house her treasure trove of antique dolls, period costumes, and numero

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