At a young age, it was very clear that I wanted to be one of the greatest athletes of all time. As I watched professional sports games and the Olympics, I would often envision myself standing in front of all those people scoring the winning touchdown or crossing the finish line in first place. No matter what sport it was, I could see myself being the best at it. I could hear the "Star Spangled Banner" being played in the distance as the greatest flag of all time was raised and I stood there in the number one spot. Now, I just needed to find the sport that would get me there.
Since the age of 5, I have been in search of the sport that would lead me to the top. As a child I dabbled in swimming, fast pitch softball, volleyball, cross-country and track and field. But it was triathlon and mountain biking where I truly started to see that vision unfold. In the span of two years, I went from a novice racer in mountain biking to possessing my very first pro license. A month later, I earned the same status in triathlon.
These may seem like two very different sports. One is on the road and involves swimming, biking and running, while the other is off-road biking. I didn't quite understand it myself. I just knew that I loved racing both of these. It was then that I discovered Xterra, an off-road triathlon. I was hooked.
It didn't take long for me to rise to the top. My third time racing was on a small island called Saipan where I was up against the reigning World Champion and a few other veterans. I crossed the finish line in first place, 11 minutes ahead of second place. At that moment as they placed a flower crown over my head, I knew that this was my sport.
Over the next seven years, I had epic battles with my biggest rival, a Canadian superstar. We constantly went back and forth with first and second place. I racked up more championship wins than any other male or female with 37 wins. I earned six U.S. titles, two European Tour titles and a World Championship. Life was great. I was just hitting my peak as one of the all time greatest Xterra racers. My goal was 50 titles, more World Championships, then shifting my focus for the Olympics in Mountain biking.
In 2008, that all changed. I was in the most excruciating pain. On a scale of 1 to10, I was at 20. I hadn't been able to run for three months. I could no longer bike. I couldn't even get through a night of sleep without waking up screaming in agony. I was growing delirious unable to stand the pain.
I went from hospital to hospital, doctor-to-doctor, diagnosis after diagnosis, but no one could figure out what was wrong with me. I was told I had sciatic nerve issues, a ruptured disc, ovarian cysts, over usage injury, and so on. It wasn't until a friend persuaded me to go to UCSF medical center that I finally got answers. They got my pain to drop to an 8 and after more poking and prodding, they discovered part of the problem. It was the farthest thing from my mind.
Two doctors came into my room one morning. One introduced himself as a chemotherapy doctor; the other was a radiation doctor. They proceeded to sit down and go over my options. "If you choose chemo ...""If you choose radiation ..." For a brief moment, I couldn't figure out why they were in my room talking to me about this. And then it hit me like a brick wall. I tried to fight back the tears, but they came flooding out.
I sat there quietly with the flood gates open waiting for them to finish. I finally spoke up, "Do I have CANCER?" It was the hardest question I've ever asked not really wanting to know the answer. One doctor got up and left while the other sat there and nodded his head.
At 31 years old, I just found out I had cancer. How could I, a 2004 Xterra World Champion and super health nut, have cancer?!
I turned my head towards my dad, tears still pouring out of my eyes and repeating the words, "I don't want to die!"
Most of my friends and family believed I would have the Lance Armstrong story -- beat cancer and return to racing stronger than ever. I believed it. I hoped for it. That came crashing down the moment the doctor asked me to wiggle my toes and my left foot didn't move. Shortly after that, a physical therapist came in to help me learn to walk again. I simply couldn't wrap my brain around what was going on. I didn't understand that the doctors had to remove a section of my sciatic nerve because the grapefruit sized tumor was growing out of the nerve sheath.
Since the age of 5, I have been in search of the sport that would lead me to the top. As a child I dabbled in swimming, fast pitch softball, volleyball, cross-country and track and field. But it was triathlon and mountain biking where I truly started to see that vision unfold. In the span of two years, I went from a novice racer in mountain biking to possessing my very first pro license. A month later, I earned the same status in triathlon.
These may seem like two very different sports. One is on the road and involves swimming, biking and running, while the other is off-road biking. I didn't quite understand it myself. I just knew that I loved racing both of these. It was then that I discovered Xterra, an off-road triathlon. I was hooked.
How could I, a 2004 Xterra World Champion and super health nut, have cancer?!
It didn't take long for me to rise to the top. My third time racing was on a small island called Saipan where I was up against the reigning World Champion and a few other veterans. I crossed the finish line in first place, 11 minutes ahead of second place. At that moment as they placed a flower crown over my head, I knew that this was my sport.
Over the next seven years, I had epic battles with my biggest rival, a Canadian superstar. We constantly went back and forth with first and second place. I racked up more championship wins than any other male or female with 37 wins. I earned six U.S. titles, two European Tour titles and a World Championship. Life was great. I was just hitting my peak as one of the all time greatest Xterra racers. My goal was 50 titles, more World Championships, then shifting my focus for the Olympics in Mountain biking.
In 2008, that all changed. I was in the most excruciating pain. On a scale of 1 to10, I was at 20. I hadn't been able to run for three months. I could no longer bike. I couldn't even get through a night of sleep without waking up screaming in agony. I was growing delirious unable to stand the pain.
I went from hospital to hospital, doctor-to-doctor, diagnosis after diagnosis, but no one could figure out what was wrong with me. I was told I had sciatic nerve issues, a ruptured disc, ovarian cysts, over usage injury, and so on. It wasn't until a friend persuaded me to go to UCSF medical center that I finally got answers. They got my pain to drop to an 8 and after more poking and prodding, they discovered part of the problem. It was the farthest thing from my mind.
Two doctors came into my room one morning. One introduced himself as a chemotherapy doctor; the other was a radiation doctor. They proceeded to sit down and go over my options. "If you choose chemo ...""If you choose radiation ..." For a brief moment, I couldn't figure out why they were in my room talking to me about this. And then it hit me like a brick wall. I tried to fight back the tears, but they came flooding out.
I sat there quietly with the flood gates open waiting for them to finish. I finally spoke up, "Do I have CANCER?" It was the hardest question I've ever asked not really wanting to know the answer. One doctor got up and left while the other sat there and nodded his head.
At 31 years old, I just found out I had cancer. How could I, a 2004 Xterra World Champion and super health nut, have cancer?!
I turned my head towards my dad, tears still pouring out of my eyes and repeating the words, "I don't want to die!"
Most of my friends and family believed I would have the Lance Armstrong story -- beat cancer and return to racing stronger than ever. I believed it. I hoped for it. That came crashing down the moment the doctor asked me to wiggle my toes and my left foot didn't move. Shortly after that, a physical therapist came in to help me learn to walk again. I simply couldn't wrap my brain around what was going on. I didn't understand that the doctors had to remove a section of my sciatic nerve because the grapefruit sized tumor was growing out of the nerve sheath.
Just as I was adjusting to life with a disability, I now had to readjust to the fact I was going to be a mom of twins.